its time to round up 2009 for me :p

2009 was a horrid year for the world really. the number of deaths all around the world from unnecessary violence and conflict, the grey cloud that seems to be hanging all over the world now, because of iran, north korea, iraq, uganda, congo and so many more. the bloody economic crisis, the work of fucking bankers who will step all over everyone just to get to where they want to be.

the people who have left this world, near or far, you will be missed.

hx, i hope you're now in a better place.

and in all honesty, i can't wait for 1st jan 2010 to come and for there to be a new fresh beginning again.

but then again, to be fair, i did have quite a fulfilling, satisfactory year. i accomplished almost everything i wanted to do. my eyes were opened for the first time to all the conflicts and the suffering that has never caught my attention. and suddenly, i really see a role in which there is something worth fighting for.

don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong at all with wanting to be a good solicitor or lawyer that earns a good pay. we all need money to satisfy our needs. but at the same time, i need to account to my conscience and that desire to make a difference in this world. i've pursued after this ideal of international law since i was 16, and yet i never really knew where i could go with this. and now, i think i might have found my way. so i'll just have to wait till march next year. i'm a huge believer in signs. if i get it, its meant to be then (: and no matter what opposition, i will walk that path as long as i can.

youth, idealism and optimism. that's me right :p hahahaha.

travels wise. its been bloody awesome really. let's see, countries i've been to: ireland, netherlands (one time too many), usa, france, portugal, wales, scotland, japan, spain, belgium, finland and estonia (((: i love my travelmates. esp angie, ming, chor ming, minshin, cass, joyce and my mum. haha, angie! we have to beat our 4 countries record next year! hahahaha. love you sweetheart.

telders, iccsn and japanese were what i set out to do this year, and its been good really (: being fluent in japanese and having the syllables just roll off my tongue gives me such a satisfactory feeling. hahaha. i want to be a linguist :D

friends: i'm sorry i've been so MIA this year. biggest apologies to yipeng, anwar, jerrine, jeremy and deb ): i'm sorryyyyy! my new year resolution is definitely to be more social! promise :D

cass: i couldn't agree more with your card. you have been such a huge presence in my 2009 really. i hope this will only keep growing (:

ming: i love you so much my darling (: i wish you were in london with me forever. the past few months have been so awesome and so fantastic. i never wanted you to go ):

so to 2010 - hard work, good grades, good degree, good showing in telders, masters, more travels, more friends, more good food, love, laughter and happiness all around (:

i'm seriously growing more sentimental with old age. snorts. i think i have to be the only idiot who cries while writing christmas cards -.-

and then cries again watching this:



the technical brilliance of the dancers, the fluidity of the choreography, jakob's lines and ability to emote. the simplicity and yet strength of the emotion in the performance. this is bloody fucking brilliant really. it might just top jason & jeanine's item as my favourite.

mms, i think e dancers will get this. even non-dancers really. haha.

i've forgot momentarily how much i love my friends and how good it is to be with friends. i'm sorry!

ahh i love korean singers :p bloody hilarious.

mms it is good to be back. in front of my tveeeee :D teehee. sighs, i just need all my friends to come home ): grumbles

i'm booth. you're bones.

oh god lea salonga is so so so good (: it makes the hair on my arms stand. i can't believe i'm sitting the brunchbowl watching disney videos. snorts. economics & political science eh (:

hahaha. i'm such a disney princess girl. i love my disney movies. esp cinderella :D

gahhh. the fate of my following year is out of my hand now. -crosses fingers- i really really want it.

i'm sitting in my school library now. i think i've spent more time in e lse library these 3 weeks than i ever have -.- hahaha. but the thing is, the feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction when i send out my memorial and get good comments totally justifies all the bloody time in this bloody library really. i hope we go all the way (:

i wish i were you. fuck. how i wish i could be you in that very moment.

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mms, awesome trip to helsinki. cass was a lovely host (: soy sauce chicken and fish soup. yummm. ming and i did random exploring, alot of eating and alot of talking (((: we took a ferry (super-cruiseliner actually) to tallinn for a day trip. oh how charming and quaint tallinn is (((: hahaha. the pastel-easter-egg coloured buildings, the xmas market and that adorable hole-in-the-ground cafe. love love!

brussels this weekend with angie baby (((: i miss my angie baby.

and then home on monday.

this term has flown by really. its probably my most fulfilling and exciting term ever. with 4 trips, telders, asp and so much quality time with my dear friends (: i loved it.

but before this weekend comes, i've got 3 books on hart to get through and my memorial for telders to get done. ROARS.

at least it keeps me from unwanted thoughts

for the first time, i'm really struggling with my ocd tendencies. i don't want my life to be controlled by it. i don't want to sit primly on a seat on the beach when i can be rolling around the sand with you. i want to just decide one day when i get up to drive to another random town. i want to be reckless, spontaneous, carefree and irresponsible sometimes. structure gets stifling after awhile. it makes me feel resigned and old.

i feel like a schizophrenic. seriously.

off i go to helsinki (((: with ming to find cass. oh life is good. i just hope it ain't too cold -.-